


Because of Pon Farr

by obscuresymbolism



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Episode: s02e05 Amok Time, First Kiss, M/M, Pon Farr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:15:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25152244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obscuresymbolism/pseuds/obscuresymbolism
Summary: When T'Pring chooses Kirk to be her champion for the kaliffee, neither he nor Spock anticipate how their fight will end, nor what the result will be once back on board the Enterprise.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock
Comments: 10
Kudos: 283





	Because of Pon Farr

“Kroykah!” T’Pau called, thrusting a hand into the air. Immediately, Spock disengaged and hovered, still ready for an attack, a few feet away. Jim was grateful for the time-out.

As he dropped to his knees panting, he had to admit to himself that this was not how he imagined their detour to Vulcan would go. What he expected to be a simple wedding ceremony mere moments ago had turned into, well, quite the opposite. There wasn’t enough oxygen in Jim’s lungs for him to try to parse what exactly had caused the change – all he knew was that one moment, he was almost best man, and the next he was agreeing to fight his first officer. He gingerly put a hand to his bleeding chest and thought, _Someone could have said this was “to the death” before I volunteered._

Jim almost didn’t register Bones’ argument with T’Pau. “Is this Vulcan chivalry?” Bones said. He spit each word with barely concealed anger. “The air’s too hot and thin for Kirk. He’s not used to it!” 

“The air is the air,” replied T’Pau. “What can be done?”

Bones didn’t hesitate. He opened the pouch on his belt and removed a hypo. “I can compensate for the atmosphere and the temperature with this. At least it’ll give Kirk a fighting chance.”

“Thou mayst proceed,” T’Pau conceded. 

Bones rushed over to Jim and knelt in the sand next to him. He glanced between Jim and Spock who, although he wore a completely blank expression, was still poised for whatever attack might come next. His glazed eyes made Bones shudder.

“You’re going to have to kill him, Jim,” Bones said in a low voice. 

“Kill Spock? That’s not what I came to Vulcan for, is it?” Jim said in between deep gasps. _We came here to save his life,_ he added internally. He never took his eyes off Spock, who hardly seemed to register he was there. _There’s got to be a way to snap him out of it,_ he thought. 

Without warning, Bones jabbed the hypo into Jim’s bicep. 

“What’s that?” Jim panted. 

“It’s a tri-ox compound. It’ll help you breathe,” Bones explained. “Now be careful.”

“Sound medical advice,” Jim said. He ignored Bones’ angry eyebrow reacting to his sarcasm as he pushed himself up and approached Spock.

Instead of resuming the fight, the two attendants who brought them their weapons now took them away, clearing the shattered blade as well. They brought forth two long canvas straps with circular weights on each end. Jim held his, unsure of how to use it. He’d seen something like these on Earth. 

_I think I’m supposed to –_

The thought was knocked out of him when he hit the ground. Spock tugged on his strap as it unwrapped itself from Jim’s legs. He swung it about once more before taking both weights in one hand, shortening its length and charging Jim. 

Jim’s head swam as he dodged and grappled with Spock. _There has to be a way out of this!_ he thought in between blows. _Does he realize it’s me? I’ve got to get through to him!_

Before Jim could properly formulate his plan, he found himself throwing Spock back, leaping away from the hot coals. His limbs were growing heaving, and it was becoming harder and harder to see straight. 

_Damn atmosphere,_ Jim cursed as Spock wrestled him to the ground yet again. His weapon was tight around Jim’s neck, causing his vision to spin. He had difficulty holding onto his own weights, and let them drop uselessly onto the sand. 

“Spock,” Jim choked out. A flash of recognition passed through Spock’s eyes, but quickly vanished. “Spock!” he rasped again. 

Spock was on top of Jim, forcing him down, holding him there. He straddled Jim’s hips and leaned over him, close enough that the sweat on his brow fell onto Jim’s. 

Desperate to bring back that flicker of sanity, Jim dragged his hands up through air that now seemed as thick as pea soup and held Spock’s face. He forced Spock to look at him, only him, as if they were the only two people on the planet.

Time slowed, and in that moment, this close to Spock, with Spock straddled on top of him, smelling his sweat, Jim forgot about everyone watching. It might have had to do with his vision tunneling so severely that only Spock was visible, but Jim forgot about, or pushed from his mind, Bones and T’Pau and T’Pring and all the rest. He finally had Spock in his arms – sort of.

“Spock,” he whispered, and this time understanding remained on Spock’s face longer that a heartbeat. Jim’s panting slowed, and he felt his muscles relax and his hands slid from Spock’s face to his shoulders.

There was no telling _how_ it happened, only that it happened. Spock’s lips met his in a kiss unlike any Jim had had before. It seemed to reverberate through his whole body. Somehow Jim knew if he had been standing, he would be weak at the knees. _Finally,_ he thought. _Finally._

Jim tried to reach up to pull Spock closer, to embrace him fully, to finally give into months of tension and desire, but couldn’t lift his arms. There was something electric between them – even Spock felt it. Jim’s head spun as, instead of pulling back, Spock kissed him harder, pressing onto him with a passion as powerful as it was welcome. He wants this too, Jim realized. He also realized with anguish that he was losing consciousness. Spock loosened his grip on the strap around his neck, but it was too late.

With a final, feeble effort, Jim tried to sit up to follow where he assumed Spock’s face was going as he pulled away from their kiss, but could only fall back, limp, onto the sand. 

The last thing he heard was Bones shouting, as if from an immense distance, “Get your hands off of him!” before he descended into unconsciousness, and cursed Bones for stopping Spock and for giving him whatever was in that hypo. 

Jim woke in sickbay, his head pounding and his muscles sore. Bones leaned over him, worry written all over his face. Seeing Jim’s eyes flutter open and land on him, Bones quickly tried to hide his concern, then his immense relief, behind a casual veneer. 

“Feeling better?” he asked.

Jim groaned as he sat up. His throat was still dry and gritty from rolling around in the hot sand. “I could use a glass of water,” he said. He only noticed Nurse Chapel was in the room as she left to bring him a cup. “Bones, explain,” Jim said. “What happened down there?”

“I hit you with a neural paralyzer,” he said. Jim noticed he was unable to keep the pride at his quick trickery out of his voice. “Not enough to kill you, but enough to paralyze you. Simulated death. Only the most clever of doctors could have told you were still alive. I’m glad T’Pau didn’t bother to have you checked out.”

Nurse Chapel returned with Jim’s water and handed it to him. “What happened with Spock? Is he staying on Vulcan while we go on to Altair?” she asked.

Jim raised his eyebrows and looked to Bones. “Spock’s not on board?” He felt himself blush a little as a twinkle appeared in Bones’ eye. _So he did see…what happened,_ he thought. _I don’t think T’Pring is going to be too pleased about it._

“He stayed behind, to talk things over with T’Pring, I imagine,” Bones explained. “I’m sure he’ll be here in sickbay any minute.”

As soon as he finished, the console in Bones’ office whistled. From the next room, they heard Scotty’s voice say, “Transporter room to Sickbay. Mister Spock is on his way down to see you, Doctor.” 

“Christine, will you acknowledge?” Bones asked. Nurse Chapel nodded and left the room again. They watched her go, then Bones turned back to Jim with a smile. “You wanna talk about what happened down there?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Jim replied, arching an eyebrow coyly. 

“Oh, I think you do,” Bones teased. “That compound hadn’t knocked you out just yet.” 

Jim blushed and tried to sit up, but Bones pushed him back down onto the bed. “Doctor, if you don’t mind, I have a ship –“

“No, you don’t,” Bones said sharply. “You’ve just been through quite an ordeal. You’re going to sit there for at least another fifteen minutes before I let you out of my sickbay.” 

Jim put his hands up in defeat and relaxed onto the bed. Satisfied, Bones nodded and went into his office, leaving the door open to keep an eye on Jim as he contemplated everything that happened on Vulcan. 

In the other room, Jim heard the door swish open, followed by Spock’s voice “Doctor, I shall be resigning my commission immediately.” 

_Resign!_ Jim thought. _Why?_ Then realization hit him. _He doesn’t know what Bones did!_ He leapt out of bed and swayed a little, still wearing off the neural paralyzer. Stumbling to Bones’ office, he hardly heard their conversation for the blood pounding in his ears.

“I would appreciate your making the final arrangements,” Spock continued, still out of sight. 

“Spock, I—“ Bones started to say.

“Doctor, please let me finish,” Spock cut him off, a subtle edge in his voice. He paused to regain control, then pressed on. “There can be no excuse for the crime of which I am guilty. I intend to offer no defense. Furthermore, I shall order Mister Scott to take immediate command of this vessel.”

Jim slipped into the room and put his hands on his hips, trying to hide the slight sway in his posture. “Don’t you think you’d better check with me first?” he asked. 

“Captain?” He felt warmth spread all throughout his body as he watched the confusion in Spock’s eyes give way to recognition, which quickly gave way to pure joy. To his shock, a smile blossomed on Spock’s face, who suddenly grabbed him by the shoulders and spun him into the room. “Jim!” 

As quickly as it came, Spock’s smile faded back into his usual neutral expression upon remembering Bones and Nurse Chapel were watching. But Jim couldn’t brush his aside as easily. That moment of contact, that Vulcan smile – Jim felt giddy, as if the tri-ox compound was working anew in his veins. 

He and Bones explained as quickly as they could everything that had happened, and listened eagerly as Spock told them what had happened after Bones beamed out. As soon as the record was straight, Jim sent orders to the bridge to take the Enterprise to Altair Six. 

When everything was taken care of, he straightened up to sickbay, shooting a furtive glance at Spock, who hadn’t taken his eyes off Jim since being reunited. _We need to talk,_ Jim thought, hoping Spock could read the message in his eyes.

Bones stopped them as they tried to leave. “There’s just one thing, Mister Spock,” he said, the playful twinkle returning to his eyes. “You can’t tell me that when you first saw Jim alive that you weren’t on the verge of giving us an emotional scene that would have brought the house down.” 

Spock cocked an eyebrow, no doubt having the same realization that Jim had moments ago, that Bones had seen their kiss. Without missing a beat, he said, 

“Merely my quite logical relief that Starfleet had not lost a highly proficient captain.” 

Suppressing a smile, Jim placed a hand on Spock’s elbow. If he let the two of them banter, he’d never get a chance to talk to Spock alone. “Come on, Spock,” he said gently. “Let’s go mind the store.” 

They swept out together and left Bones muttering to himself, no doubt furious at losing the opportunity to use a one-liner he had been cooking up since beaming back to the Enterprise. 

It took every ounce of self-control Jim had not to grab Spock by the arm and run with him through the halls until they were somewhere private and secure. The two of them strode away from sickbay as quickly as they could without drawing attention to themselves. One phrase rang through Jim's head as they made their way through the ship: _He lost all interest in T'Pring, he lost all interest in T'Pring._ He hardly dared to think the thought that came after it. By some sort of unspoken agreement, they passed the turbolift and headed straight for their quarters. Jim only slowed once his door was in sight. Sensing the shift, Spock slowed as well.

“Spock, I’d like to see you in my quarters, please,” Jim said. He struggled to keep his voice even and professional. There were still plenty of people passing by, nodding to their captain and first officer as they went.

“As you wish, captain,” said Spock, following Jim inside without breaking stride.

Once the door swished closed, Jim’s face flushed and his heart skipped a beat. He’d been alone in his quarters with Spock a million times before, but – well. Things were different now. _Different good, or different bad remains to be seen,_ Jim noted. He cleared his throat and faced Spock, suddenly unsure of how to proceed.

Spock waited silently for Jim to speak. He stood with his hands clasped behind his back, his face as impassive as ever. Jim studied him for a moment and found no trace of the almost feral behavior he had seen down on Vulcan. It was as if none of the events had ever happened. Had they not just discussed them in sickbay, Jim might have doubted then everything that passed in the last few hours. 

“Spock, I—“ he started to say when the intercom whistled. Spock merely raised an eyebrow at the interruption.

“Bridge to Captain Kirk,” came Uhura's voice. “We are out of orbit and on the way to Altair Six.” 

“Thank you, Lieutenant,” replied Jim without taking his eyes off Spock. “Let Mister Scott know I’ll be up shortly.” 

“Aye sir. Uhura out.” 

There was a tense heartbeat, then both Jim and Spock started to speak at the same time.

“Spock, are you all right?”

“Are you well, Captain?” 

Jim gave a small smile and took a step toward Spock. “I’m more worried about you,” he said truthfully. He had never seen Spock in such a state, and would not have believed it possible if he hadn’t seen it himself. And now, he had to admit, it was a little unsettling to see Spock standing there as if he had no memory of it.

A terrible thought occurred to Jim, sending his stomach plummeting to the floor. _What if he doesn’t remember?_ he thought. _He didn’t remember altering course. What if the blood-fever burned away our –_ He couldn’t let himself finish the thought.

While Jim floundered, Spock reached out and grasped his bicep. It was a simple gesture, accompanied with a softening of his eyes, and it was enough. Spock’s steady force on his arm grounded Jim, brought him back to the moment and Vulcan in front of him. 

It also made him feel a little silly. Spock was the one who had been almost out of his mind with hormones and emotion, and here he was providing comfort. _It should be the other way around,_ Jim thought. 

“Are you all right, Spock?” Jim repeated, softly, pleading, almost in a whisper. 

Spock squeezed his arm. “Yes, Jim,” he said. His voice was just as low, barely more than a rasp.

Jim had never been at a loss for words before. Then again, he realized, he hadn’t been this in love - truly, hopelessly in love - with anyone before. It had to be love, he figured, from the way he was trembling and desperate to take Spock in his arms. The thought of holding him as tightly as possible – and perhaps finishing what they had started on the sands – eclipsed almost everything else in Jim’s mind and set his heart pounding. 

“Jim, if I may,” Spock said, “I suggest we address what happened before Doctor McCoy’s trickery took effect.” He didn’t release Jim’s arm. Instead, he shifted every so slightly, so that he was closer to him, a move which did not go unnoticed. 

“Yes,” Jim murmured, unable to take his eyes from Spock’s lips. They were so close. _So close._ Almost as close as they had been when Spock was straddling him on the hot sand --

“Pon farr, as you have clearly seen, impairs our judgment. I acted purely on impulse, without thought or logic, with pure instinct. My mind was on fire with the heat of the moment. However…” Jim lamented the pause as Spock’s voice trailed off. He regarded Jim with heavy-lidded eyes, clearly thinking through _something_ , but unsure how to put it into words. 

Jim was ready to take the plunge. “In your…heat of the moment,” he said carefully, watching for Spock’s reaction like a hawk, “your _instinct_ was to kiss me. You _wanted_ to kiss me.” 

“Precisely,” Spock breathed. Jim’s heart missed a beat. “And I believe, unless the blood-fever has clouded my memory, you wanted to kiss me as well,” he concluded quietly. 

Radiant joy flooded Jim’s chest. He beamed up at Spock and gripped his shoulders tightly. When he thought he couldn’t possibly feel any more happiness, Spock’s stoic mask cracked as he allowed himself to smile back at Jim. 

“I still want to,” said Jim. 

"Then I see no logic in holding back,” answered Spock.

 _Finally,_ thought Jim as he pulled Spock closer.


End file.
